Why do I feel like a prize fool? I really hate it when people just rip the piss out of me. I feel manipulated and stupid and I really should learn that I can't trust anyone except myself. At the end of the day everyone out there is doing something to someone else for their own gain and I am so fucking sick of being the tail end of it.
Monday, 15 September 2008
Saturday, 13 September 2008
Prawns
Yup I am sitting here eating a prawn stir fry. I'm not even that hungry and this is only the second thing I have had to eat all day. I am actually so bored and clearly I lead a very exciting life. It's Saturday and so far today I have edited my profile on Facebook, by that I mean added photos, and deleted a handful of texts off my phone. The next part of my plan is to type up a little more of Luvine Lust and perhaps even do my CV or read Queen of the Damned. Yes as you can see I do in fact lead the most dreadfully thrilling life. Oh tell a lie I did do one slightly exciting/productive thing, I applied to be an Avon rep for a bit of extra cash.
It's been a rough couple of months apart from my trip to Amsterdam. I came back from my trip and started to feel like me again, although today I just feel shit. The only reason I even got out of bed today was because my back was starting to get sore and I was hungry. Bonny is away in Turkey, Graham is on WoW raiding and I am sitting by myself on a Saturday night, I did the same thing last night too. It's actually so depressing, every Monday I go into work and get asked how my weekend was and I am so loathe to say that it was so mind numbingly boring that I would have rather have been at work at least that way I would have people to talk to. Instead I always just say "yeah it was ok, didn't really get up to much." Translates to the same thing, I have no life.
Hmm actually my stir fry wasn't that nice. My music is driving me nuts too, I need a bit of excitement. Truth be told I need to feel like I am the most important thing in Graham's life again. Kinda feeling like even though I know he loves kinda feel like he is jus tbiding his time until we get to Australia. I think it's mostly just that I can't see him as much as I would like for two major reasons A) he can't get a lift and B) he now spends all his time in London cos he is working and moving there. The worst thing is I know he loves it there and have this gut wrenching feeling that he won't want to leave his new job and will get too comfortable with the two guys he is moving in with. I can say all I want that I will be fine going to Australia myself and I don't doubt that if it came down to it I would be eventually but I am totally paranoid just now. If I had the money then I would suggest to Graham that we go now, but I want to be able to have a bit of cash behind us before we go and right now I am struggling to pay all my bills and survive day to day nevermind doing anything fun.
Ugh I actually just feel like crying. Think I will go type more of this story and then attempt to forget these feelings in a hot bath.
Amethyst ***
It's been a rough couple of months apart from my trip to Amsterdam. I came back from my trip and started to feel like me again, although today I just feel shit. The only reason I even got out of bed today was because my back was starting to get sore and I was hungry. Bonny is away in Turkey, Graham is on WoW raiding and I am sitting by myself on a Saturday night, I did the same thing last night too. It's actually so depressing, every Monday I go into work and get asked how my weekend was and I am so loathe to say that it was so mind numbingly boring that I would have rather have been at work at least that way I would have people to talk to. Instead I always just say "yeah it was ok, didn't really get up to much." Translates to the same thing, I have no life.
Hmm actually my stir fry wasn't that nice. My music is driving me nuts too, I need a bit of excitement. Truth be told I need to feel like I am the most important thing in Graham's life again. Kinda feeling like even though I know he loves kinda feel like he is jus tbiding his time until we get to Australia. I think it's mostly just that I can't see him as much as I would like for two major reasons A) he can't get a lift and B) he now spends all his time in London cos he is working and moving there. The worst thing is I know he loves it there and have this gut wrenching feeling that he won't want to leave his new job and will get too comfortable with the two guys he is moving in with. I can say all I want that I will be fine going to Australia myself and I don't doubt that if it came down to it I would be eventually but I am totally paranoid just now. If I had the money then I would suggest to Graham that we go now, but I want to be able to have a bit of cash behind us before we go and right now I am struggling to pay all my bills and survive day to day nevermind doing anything fun.
Ugh I actually just feel like crying. Think I will go type more of this story and then attempt to forget these feelings in a hot bath.
Amethyst ***
Wednesday, 28 May 2008
Drama, Drama Drama!
Well not really, I just felt like it would be an amusing title...amusing to who, oh yeah myself :)
So money sucks etc but hey who is worried.
I got a new phone and apparently when I take a photo I can send it straight to here so as to create a sorta of photo blog that I can update on the move, how cool is that really.
Wedding plans, well I ain't even going to talk about them as I am sick of hearing the W word.
Work as ever is a load of rubbish but it pays the bills, I'm scraping by but it's ok I'll pull through I always do.
So I know this isn't much of an update bur ho hum its what I felt like writing.
Perhaps more later
Amethyst **
So money sucks etc but hey who is worried.
I got a new phone and apparently when I take a photo I can send it straight to here so as to create a sorta of photo blog that I can update on the move, how cool is that really.
Wedding plans, well I ain't even going to talk about them as I am sick of hearing the W word.
Work as ever is a load of rubbish but it pays the bills, I'm scraping by but it's ok I'll pull through I always do.
So I know this isn't much of an update bur ho hum its what I felt like writing.
Perhaps more later
Amethyst **
Thursday, 24 April 2008
Gig last night
So yeah myself, Graham, Doug and Carolina (?) all went to see Sonata Arctica last night and it was fucking awesome. They don't half put on one hell of a shoe. The singer is a complete mental case and has complete control of the crowd at several points. Support band was Pagan's Mind, they were quite interesting and I do mean interesting in a good way for a change. I got my ticket signed by the singer.
There is a major issue though in being that I am a short arse. Everyone was towering over me. I basically had to stand on my tip toes the whole night which was a laugh. Although on saying that I am a short arse with a temper. I was unfortunate enough to be stuck at the edge of pit which is never ever fun. I have a rather sore chest from where some idiot elbowed me twice in as many minutes. I'm just of the belief that pits are the most pointless thing. I mean someone please explain to me why it is fun or productive to throw yourself into another person and in the process fall all over yourself into the other patrons of the gig. It's clearly a test of who is the most macho or butch...grr look at me I'm huge and an asshole, that makes me worthy of your time. How about no you toss pot. Maybe I'm just getting old or whatever, but I just think a pit is a complete waste of time. You end up basically missing the band cos you are so busy knocking lumps out of each other and then make others angry. I say those of us who actually like to watch the band without fear of major injury start a petition to get separate sections in venues for those folk who do want to pit and then that way they are only hurting each other. Maybe it's the animal instinct to impress a potential mate by showing masculinity, either way I hate pits and more to the point I hate most of the idiots that participate in them, usually cos they appear to have absolutely no brain.
Perhaps I offended some folks with that wee rant, but like I care. No one is forcing you to read this and after all it's a blog where I can spout my personal opinion to my hearts content and everyone is entitled to an opinion. This just happens to be what my opinion is today.
I actually feel all empowered, not by the above rant, just in general. I am probably the happiest and most content that I have been for a long time. It feels good.
Whoosh! So I'm not sure if I have anything else to really say. I was all girly looking today, brought out my purple and black goth skirt today. Teamed it up with a black vest top and I looked hot as fuck. Skirt is a pain in the ass though, it's so long and floaty that it makes sitting in a chair with wheels a bit of a hassle, but it was so worth it.
Anyway, I am going to sign off for just now, may write more later, we shall see.
Amethyst **
There is a major issue though in being that I am a short arse. Everyone was towering over me. I basically had to stand on my tip toes the whole night which was a laugh. Although on saying that I am a short arse with a temper. I was unfortunate enough to be stuck at the edge of pit which is never ever fun. I have a rather sore chest from where some idiot elbowed me twice in as many minutes. I'm just of the belief that pits are the most pointless thing. I mean someone please explain to me why it is fun or productive to throw yourself into another person and in the process fall all over yourself into the other patrons of the gig. It's clearly a test of who is the most macho or butch...grr look at me I'm huge and an asshole, that makes me worthy of your time. How about no you toss pot. Maybe I'm just getting old or whatever, but I just think a pit is a complete waste of time. You end up basically missing the band cos you are so busy knocking lumps out of each other and then make others angry. I say those of us who actually like to watch the band without fear of major injury start a petition to get separate sections in venues for those folk who do want to pit and then that way they are only hurting each other. Maybe it's the animal instinct to impress a potential mate by showing masculinity, either way I hate pits and more to the point I hate most of the idiots that participate in them, usually cos they appear to have absolutely no brain.
Perhaps I offended some folks with that wee rant, but like I care. No one is forcing you to read this and after all it's a blog where I can spout my personal opinion to my hearts content and everyone is entitled to an opinion. This just happens to be what my opinion is today.
I actually feel all empowered, not by the above rant, just in general. I am probably the happiest and most content that I have been for a long time. It feels good.
Whoosh! So I'm not sure if I have anything else to really say. I was all girly looking today, brought out my purple and black goth skirt today. Teamed it up with a black vest top and I looked hot as fuck. Skirt is a pain in the ass though, it's so long and floaty that it makes sitting in a chair with wheels a bit of a hassle, but it was so worth it.
Anyway, I am going to sign off for just now, may write more later, we shall see.
Amethyst **
Sunday, 20 April 2008
So here I am.
One step closer to the wedding day, another few things marked off the check list and me getting suitably excited because I have taken some time to reflect and chill. My problem last time was that I had just been totally swamped with ideas, suggestions, colours, styles etc etc that it just got the better of me. I read my little book of calm and just followed it's advice...Forget about all things wedding related for one day and take a break in between each stage of planning and you shall enjoy it more! It's so true actually, I took a few days where the wedding was not my all consuming thought and I actually feel so much more excited about having sorted another two parts of it.
Graham and I booked the photographer and the cars today. The photographer is brilliant and is giving us a fantastic deal. The car guy is one of the nicest guys I've met and the cars are a lovely burgundy colour. I absolutely adore the bridal car, it's a burgundy Beauford, it's so old fashioned and I love it. The other two cars are jags, whoop!
My dress is sorted, I just need to phone them tomorrow about payments etc and I have spotted the most perfect pair of shoes. I would have bought these things anyway, but they are the most perfect shoes for the wedding. Quite a high heel but they were dead comfy when I tried them on and I'll prepare for any pain by putting party feet in them on the day. Perhaps also have my tiara sorted and I won't be paying through the nose for it either.
I have a wee day planned with Bonny on 1st May to put a deposit on her dress. Just need to get everything else like underwear etc sorted, but that comes later.
Various things have been going on, I told a few people to get themselves stuffed basically as they were being selfish arseholes but hey not to worry I actually feel better about myself for it. It was about time I stood up for myself and stopped letting people walk all over me.
Bonny's birthday was on Friday just there and it was a great night out. Started in Beer Hall had a good laugh in there, scared Kat at Catwalk and met Lambie while in there too so shall need to arrange a night with him at some point soon, then headed to Buffalo Joes! Not really my scene or Graham's scene but we stayed as long as we could, I would have stayed out longer but Graham looked miserable so we headed home. Ran into Ally B, Bob and Lathum in Catwalk actually. Ally looks really happy recently especially since he got himself a wee bachelors pad with Urkit and his business with Bob is really starting to take off.
I realise that I am just rambling, but I am wide awake and can't think of anything else to do to be honest. What else can I think of to talk about?? Apparently I am getting roped into watching Britain's Next Top Model now that ANTM is finished. It's on at the same time on the same channel and on the same night, so what else am I meant to do on a Monday when Bonny comes up. I'll give it a shot at least.
Actually no, I have run out of things to type and I am aware that I am just prattering on so I shall spare you any more torture and sign off.
Amethyst ***
Graham and I booked the photographer and the cars today. The photographer is brilliant and is giving us a fantastic deal. The car guy is one of the nicest guys I've met and the cars are a lovely burgundy colour. I absolutely adore the bridal car, it's a burgundy Beauford, it's so old fashioned and I love it. The other two cars are jags, whoop!
My dress is sorted, I just need to phone them tomorrow about payments etc and I have spotted the most perfect pair of shoes. I would have bought these things anyway, but they are the most perfect shoes for the wedding. Quite a high heel but they were dead comfy when I tried them on and I'll prepare for any pain by putting party feet in them on the day. Perhaps also have my tiara sorted and I won't be paying through the nose for it either.
I have a wee day planned with Bonny on 1st May to put a deposit on her dress. Just need to get everything else like underwear etc sorted, but that comes later.
Various things have been going on, I told a few people to get themselves stuffed basically as they were being selfish arseholes but hey not to worry I actually feel better about myself for it. It was about time I stood up for myself and stopped letting people walk all over me.
Bonny's birthday was on Friday just there and it was a great night out. Started in Beer Hall had a good laugh in there, scared Kat at Catwalk and met Lambie while in there too so shall need to arrange a night with him at some point soon, then headed to Buffalo Joes! Not really my scene or Graham's scene but we stayed as long as we could, I would have stayed out longer but Graham looked miserable so we headed home. Ran into Ally B, Bob and Lathum in Catwalk actually. Ally looks really happy recently especially since he got himself a wee bachelors pad with Urkit and his business with Bob is really starting to take off.
I realise that I am just rambling, but I am wide awake and can't think of anything else to do to be honest. What else can I think of to talk about?? Apparently I am getting roped into watching Britain's Next Top Model now that ANTM is finished. It's on at the same time on the same channel and on the same night, so what else am I meant to do on a Monday when Bonny comes up. I'll give it a shot at least.
Actually no, I have run out of things to type and I am aware that I am just prattering on so I shall spare you any more torture and sign off.
Amethyst ***
Sunday, 30 March 2008
Oh Yeah...
....and to top it all off the bus driver was an asshole today, driving to fast and generally being a dick. I got home and complained about him just cos I was in that mood. Follows is what I sent to Stagecoach, much to the amusement of my mother.
On travelling back to Cumbernauld on the x20 service from Glasgow at 4.30pm on Sunday 30 March, I felt that the driver didn't have the least bit of concern about the safety of his passengers.
He was in far too much of a hurry, doing at least 70mph on the motorway, I was under the impression that buses and coaches were not allowed to go any faster than 55mph. At one point on the motorway another motorist signalled to the driver to slow down to which your employee responded to by giving said motorist "the finger". An entirely inappropriate attitude to have when dealing with the public.
Furthermore, for the entrie journey your driver had one of his friends/collegues/whatever standing talking to him, which is surely bad practise as it is a distraction.
The driver continued to speed and by the time we arrived in Carbrain, he quite obviously could not be bothered dealing with any more customers. I say this as there was a gentleman standing at the bus stop, who signalled for the bus to stop twice and who was blatantly ignored. Again this is totally unacceptable.
My mother and I were the last passengers to get off the coach. While we waited with baited breath to get to our destination your employee felt that it would be appropriate behaviour to draw us both filthy looks in his rear view mirror. I think not.
As an additional point, your employee, although I would be ashamed to call him that, was doing at least 45mph in a residential area. What would have happened had there been a child on the road?
I feel that the attitude of your driver was appalling never mind dangerous.
I shall hope that I do not encounter this sort of behaviour from any other Stagecoach employees or I may be forced to take my custom elsewhere.
On travelling back to Cumbernauld on the x20 service from Glasgow at 4.30pm on Sunday 30 March, I felt that the driver didn't have the least bit of concern about the safety of his passengers.
He was in far too much of a hurry, doing at least 70mph on the motorway, I was under the impression that buses and coaches were not allowed to go any faster than 55mph. At one point on the motorway another motorist signalled to the driver to slow down to which your employee responded to by giving said motorist "the finger". An entirely inappropriate attitude to have when dealing with the public.
Furthermore, for the entrie journey your driver had one of his friends/collegues/whatever standing talking to him, which is surely bad practise as it is a distraction.
The driver continued to speed and by the time we arrived in Carbrain, he quite obviously could not be bothered dealing with any more customers. I say this as there was a gentleman standing at the bus stop, who signalled for the bus to stop twice and who was blatantly ignored. Again this is totally unacceptable.
My mother and I were the last passengers to get off the coach. While we waited with baited breath to get to our destination your employee felt that it would be appropriate behaviour to draw us both filthy looks in his rear view mirror. I think not.
As an additional point, your employee, although I would be ashamed to call him that, was doing at least 45mph in a residential area. What would have happened had there been a child on the road?
I feel that the attitude of your driver was appalling never mind dangerous.
I shall hope that I do not encounter this sort of behaviour from any other Stagecoach employees or I may be forced to take my custom elsewhere.
I'm all weddinged out!
It's not even been a month that I have been engaged and I am so bored of hearing about, reading about, thinking about weddings. I am actually the worst bride to be ever and I am going to cause anyone involved in selling/making dresses so many problems cos I am being very fussy.
I did a trial run of bridal stores today with my mum, tried on three dress. Liked the skirt on one but hated the colour, white, and the bustier part as it had too many jewels on it. Then the style of dress that I liked the colour was too "not me" and the third dress I hated the skirt part of it but loved the colour. Then on top of that I was like "if i get this dress I want this bit changed"etc you get the picture.
Full day in Glasgow with my mum and Bonny on Friday, which shall be a good day am not making the mistake of wearing heels like I did today. Means aswell I will have someone who will be brutally honest with me when I'm trying stuff on. Possibility of bridesmaids now being in black....seriously people don't get married, bloody trailing all over fucking Glasgow in the pissing rain to try on dresses or to get an idea of what I want bridesmaids to wear *groan*.
And of course whatever colour of dress I pick, will be the theme colour of the wedding, meaning that I have to change the invites, the flowers and whatever else. Surely this is not a normal attitude for a "Bride-to-Be" to have, I should be all uber excited and jumping up and down, screaming with my girlies "OH MY GOD I'M GETTING MARRIED!" and getting drunk on cheap champagne....shouldn't I?
Will someone with some sense left in their heads please help me out here, give me a shake, whatever? I am trying to enjoy the girlyness of the whole thing but it is actually just pissing me off and in a strange way depressing me. I set out to have a small but memorable affair and already I'm starting to feel the snowball affect, it just feels as though it is all getting on top of me, maybe I just need to go drown in a bath for a while with a glass of wine.
I'm bored and I keep wasting time on wedding websites even though I'm not really looking at them. HELP ME!!! The girlyness is killing me. I need a night out in a pub with beer in my worst looking jeans and top followed up by chips and cheese or a kebab. I can feel myself becoming an obsessed woman, even with the guys now, including Gus my cheeky filthy crush in work, I am talking about wedding stuff and no doubt boring them all to freaking tears...or maybe I am just boring myself.
Told you...worst bride to be ever!
I did a trial run of bridal stores today with my mum, tried on three dress. Liked the skirt on one but hated the colour, white, and the bustier part as it had too many jewels on it. Then the style of dress that I liked the colour was too "not me" and the third dress I hated the skirt part of it but loved the colour. Then on top of that I was like "if i get this dress I want this bit changed"etc you get the picture.
Full day in Glasgow with my mum and Bonny on Friday, which shall be a good day am not making the mistake of wearing heels like I did today. Means aswell I will have someone who will be brutally honest with me when I'm trying stuff on. Possibility of bridesmaids now being in black....seriously people don't get married, bloody trailing all over fucking Glasgow in the pissing rain to try on dresses or to get an idea of what I want bridesmaids to wear *groan*.
And of course whatever colour of dress I pick, will be the theme colour of the wedding, meaning that I have to change the invites, the flowers and whatever else. Surely this is not a normal attitude for a "Bride-to-Be" to have, I should be all uber excited and jumping up and down, screaming with my girlies "OH MY GOD I'M GETTING MARRIED!" and getting drunk on cheap champagne....shouldn't I?
Will someone with some sense left in their heads please help me out here, give me a shake, whatever? I am trying to enjoy the girlyness of the whole thing but it is actually just pissing me off and in a strange way depressing me. I set out to have a small but memorable affair and already I'm starting to feel the snowball affect, it just feels as though it is all getting on top of me, maybe I just need to go drown in a bath for a while with a glass of wine.
I'm bored and I keep wasting time on wedding websites even though I'm not really looking at them. HELP ME!!! The girlyness is killing me. I need a night out in a pub with beer in my worst looking jeans and top followed up by chips and cheese or a kebab. I can feel myself becoming an obsessed woman, even with the guys now, including Gus my cheeky filthy crush in work, I am talking about wedding stuff and no doubt boring them all to freaking tears...or maybe I am just boring myself.
Told you...worst bride to be ever!
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)