Two words...

....I'm Done!

Get me on that plane...now!

Interesting...

...Indeed. Bit of an interesting predicament playing around in my fuzzy little brain, well actually there is a few things but not all can be detailed here, in fact none of it will I just felt the urge to type. How do we get into these messes, ah well life is sent to try us.

Funny old world...the brain I mean. How you can be sitting minding your own business and then an idea pops into your head. Sometimes we ignore the idea as a passing thing and other times we run with it just to see where it will lead. My mum has become all philosophical as of late because she has obviously come through one of the worst things you can, but it's interesting, it's making me think more too. The two of sat and watched TV all night tonight, it was good, I never really do that with her, never really have, but she was all like "You know what, Vicky? Don't do what other people expect of you, you have to do what you know is right for you regardless of outcome." Very unlike my mother! Then while we were watching some food programme she comes away with "If I want to eat a fatty, greasy slice of pizza then I will you only get one life. I'd rather be a bit overweight and healthy than have to go through the hassle of all that thin stuff." Interesting character my mum, it was just kinda odd seeing as my mind is telling me to fuck weight watchers up the arse and if I want to lose weigh then do it my own way. I dunno use the £18 a month to go swimming instead, even once a week would be better than doing sweet FA all week. The only time I am really active is on a Wednesday as I am running around after children all day, ok admittedly on a Wednesday night I totally pig out with Bonny, but if I could stick to that just once a week plus the once a week swim and the stuff on a Wednesday then surely it would have some effect. Whatever my mum made some good points tonight.

On a side note here are some lyrics that I like, my two fave songs at the moment actually.

2. Bye Bye Beautiful- Nightwish

Finally the hills are without eyes
They are tired of painting a dead man’s face
red with their own blood

They used to love having so much to lose
Blink your eyes just once and see everything in ruins

[Chorus:]
Did you ever hear what I told you?
Did you ever read what I wrote you?
Did you ever listen to what we played?
Did you ever let in what the world said?
Did we get this far just to feel your hate?
Did we play to become only pawns in the game?
How blind can you be, don’t you see?
You chose the long road, but we’ll be waiting

Bye bye, beautiful

Jacob`s ghost for the girl in white
Blindfold for the blind
Dead Siblings walking the dying Earth

Noose around a choking heart
Eternity torn apart
Slow toll now the funeral bells

"I need to die to feel alive"

[Chorus]

Bye bye, beautiful

It’s not the tree that forsakes the flower
But the flower that forsakes the tree
Someday I`ll learn to love these scars
Still fresh from the red-hot blade of your words

How blind can you be, don’t you see?
That the gambler lost all he does not have...

[Chorus]

Bye bye, beautiful

And of course...

Time (Mason, Waters, Wright, Gilmour) 7:06 - Pink Floyd

Ticking away the moments that make up a dull day
You fritter and waste the hours in an offhand way.
Kicking around on a piece of ground in your home town
Waiting for someone or something to show you the way.

Tired of lying in the sunshine staying home to watch the rain.
You are young and life is long and there is time to kill today.
And then one day you find ten years have got behind you.
No one told you when to run, you missed the starting gun.

So you run and you run to catch up with the sun but it's sinking
Racing around to come up behind you again.
The sun is the same in a relative way but you're older,
Shorter of breath and one day closer to death.

Every year is getting shorter never seem to find the time.
Plans that either come to naught or half a page of scribbled lines
Hanging on in quiet desperation is the English way
The time is gone, the song is over,
Thought I'd something more to say.


Breathe (reprise) 7:06(you barely even notice the song change)

Home, home again.
I like to be here when I can.
When I come home cold and tired
It's good to warm my bones beside the fire.
Far away across the field
The tolling of the iron bell
Calls the faithful to their knees
To hear the softly spoken magic spells.


So yeah that's that, just thought I would share.

Amethyst ***

I'm so very very fed up. Mentally I am already in Australia. I'm sick of being here. It's only the first full day back at work and I just feel drained. I hate coming home after work and not caring what I eat for dinner or what I do with my evening, most nights I just want to curl up into a ball and not be here!

I am quite horny right now and yes that was a random thought but hey my mind has been running over various things all day and sex is one of those things, as ever to be honest.

My hair is total crap just now, I really need to get it cut this month, no two ways about it.

Marriage! The most expensive day of your life...now there's a slogan.

I have no idea what's going on my head I am just typing for the sake of typing.


Back to Weight watchers tomorrow, hopefully the damage ain't too bad from the three weeks off over the festive period. So glad to be back to normallity at last...yes yes bah humbug!

ok bored again.

Amethyst

Ho hum.

So I am sitting here wasting time, while Graham sleeps and thinking that I need to go in for a shower then make a start on my scrap books. Also need to head to the local charity shop and give them a whole heap of clothes that are either too small, too big or I just don't like any more.I just figure someone will be able to get some use out of them, especially since some of the stuff I have never actually worn.

We went to the cinema randomly last night, went to see I Am Legend, the new Will Smith. It is rather good and oh my does Will Smith look good in it. Surprisingly being at the cinema and eating a hot dog and popcorn only put me like 1 point over my daily allowance. According to my scales this morning I am 12st 1lb, I never believe my scales too much they tend to lie. I shall find out on the 8th January how much I have actually lost. Hmm need to go back onto the Weight Watchers website and chart my weight loss to date.

Ho hum can't actually think of much else to say for just now. I need to decide what I am going to wear tomorrow night for the New Year party we are all going to.

Anyway

Amethyst xxx

So I Lied...

...well I never really lied. I did actually stand up and put my scarf back on in order to go to my friends, but I couldn't find my gloves and decided it was in fact way too wet to go outside again, especially since I had just warmed up.

So what was I rambling about earlier, oh yeah run down of 2007! It's been a bit of an up and down roller coaster ride, in every sense of the word if truth be told. At the tail end of 2006 my mum was diagnosed with breast cancer, so throughout 2007 she was undergoing a variety of treatments, chemotherapy, radio therapy and finally hormone treatment. We all had a good chuckle at the name of her anit-sickness pill, Dom perigdon(sp), you know like the champagne. In fact we had a good chuckle about the whole scenario, that's just how my family deal with things though. In all honesty though I don't think I truly realised how subconsciously stressed out I was about the whole thing, that is until she told us all on the 19th of this month that she got the all clear after a year of treatment and stress. I was so hyper the day after she told me, I wanted to shout it out from the roof tops, perhaps even a tannoid announcement in the work would have been fitting! So that's the main thing really, the biggest event of the year!

I've now been at Weight Watchers for over a year and only just getting the real motivation to do it properly. My weight has been very up and down and staying the same this year, but I'll get there I know I will, I have a good support unit behind me. I started at 12st 10lb which is like 180lbs *dies*. That's a UK size 16, US size 12. I am currently sitting at 12st 3lb and have been for about 6 months or so now, but I have been tracking and pointing like a maniac these past few weeks, I even tracked on Xmas day (how sad am I?) No idea how many points I actually ate on Xmas Day but it's all written down which is an improvement on last year. Anyway enough about that nonsense onto something else.

I went to Florida this year with Graham, coincidentally it was 4 years on 9th December for the two of us, it's been 8 years that we have known each other. THe holiday was fantastic, for months he had been going on about a surprise that he had planned for me and all the girls thought it was an engagement ring, they were sooo wrong! It was sooooooooo much better than that. He hired a car for the fornight, but not just any old thing, he hired....a baby blue convertible Mustang! He done it just so he could see my reaction. Ok so it wasn't a GT500, but still it was a MUSTANG!! I got to sit in a mustang for two whole weeks with the sun on my face and the wind in my hair. For those who don't know me or think I am mad for believing that this was better than a ring...I have a HUGE thing for American muscle cars, no idea why, I just love them! Can probably blame things like Starsky and Hutch or Gone in 60 Seconds for it to be honest.

Actually I nearly lost Graham this year over a stupid mistake, but I am so not going into details on this, but it's ok we are stronger than ever in many ways.

So what else happened in 2007? I went out a few times on proper girly nights out and am currently winning a certain competition, again details shall be kept to myself.

Oh almost forgot, one of the most major things well for me anyway, was that I cut off all my hair for Comic Relief, well I say all of it, what I mean is 11 inches of it, which left me with oh about an inch. I look more like a tomboy than ever, but strangely enough more feminine too. How does that work I wonder?

I have a work crush which sounds fairly insignificant but it's nice to have something like that. It makes the day go in a little faster.

Hmmm...what else?

Oh yeah...I changed my career path. I no longer want to be a Journalist as I am now dedicating all of my time to becoming a Primary Teacher. It was something that people had been telling me for years that I never listened to, but this year it finally sunk in that it's what I should be doing. I spend my Wednesdays in one of the local Primary Schools and I absolutely love it! I am always so happy on a Wednesday because I actually feel like I am achieving something and not just any old thing, I am helping children to develop and learn. I love the buzz of being in the classroom and how things are so unpredictable <--- I sound like I am writing my personal statement all over again! It's just a really genuinely good feeling to know that something I have taught a child has sunk into their brains and may well make them a better more rounded person in the future. It's guaranteed that by 3pm on Wednesday afternoons, I have an absolutely god awful headache, but it's actually a kinda nice headache. What I mean is that it is refreshing to be doing something which I a) genuinely love doing and b)that challenges my brain, forces me to think! It's a fabulous career choice and I just hope I can be the kind of teacher I used to love in school.

Hmm...one final thing I think, cos I can't think of any more major major things, I'm sure I will no doubt come up with something though.

Graham and I are planning on moving to Australia and I don't mean in five years time or whatever, I mean NOW! At the start of January we are going to start filling in all of the necessary forms etc and we are aiming to be there by the summer of 2009 at the latest. We both just realised that we are still young and we have our entire lives ahead of us so why should we stay stuck in the one place. Obviously I will miss my friends and my family but it's a price I am willing to pay. To be honest it would nice to actually meet my dad's side of the family, he is an Aussie you see. Woohoo for dual nationality! Anywhere is better than here. We don't have a mortgage or children or pets and it's not like we won't be able to get jobs over there, they are choking for teachers and ironically enough Journalists right now. We will stay for a year, come home visit people and then decide if we love or hate it. I honestly don't think we will hate it though. It's too good an opportunity to miss out on. The more I think of it the more I just want to get on that plane. Hell in my head I am already there, says a lot really! That's why if you had a nosey at my profile the location says Australia, I am of course still here in bonnie Scotland...in body at least. There really isn't a whole lot that will stop me now!

Ok so I think I have rambled so much that your eyes have probably glazed over by now, so I shall cease for just now.

Amethyst xxx

Another One!!!

So another day another blog, I apparently am obsessed with them. No! Actually truth be told I can't remember my password for the last one so I thought I would start a new one. I have loads of written journals too and I have absoloutely no idea what I will do with them all, but hey such is the way of things.

It is nearly the year 2008 and it is about time I gave a rundown of some of the main events of 2007, or at least main events to me, you don't have to understand them. Hmm in fact I think I will continue to write once I get back from delivering a Christmas present to a friend.....

Amethyst xxx